I received a question from a church about how to proceed when a Head to the Heart (H2H) small group Guide was not doing well with his or her group.

This is an extremely delicate question, because every church, church staff, small group and Guide are different, but it is a practical concern that all H2H churches may face. As a program leader, it can be difficult recruiting and nurturing a group of Guides. Sometimes, despite training and prayer, one just doesn’t work out. The easiest thing to do would be to try to ignore the problem and hope it will go away. Ultimately, finding a balance between care for this adult and care for this adult’s small group of kids should be the goal.

Let me state that being a Guide can be tough. I’ve been one myself so I know that this is true. To be clear, let’s define a working definition for a “sub-par” Guide not as someone with a group of crazy kids (this can happen to anyone) but as someone who may not be putting forth a maximum effort to bond with the kids, someone who may be “teaching” in a way that is off-message from the pastoral staff, or someone who just doesn’t get that an H2H Guide is not a drill sergeant or task master, but a facilitator and mentor. 

In my experience, I’ve found the best thing to do is to make a lateral move with the Guide in question. Find a new position in the program where the gifts of this person can be more effectively used. Perhaps this Guide would work better as a one-on-one mentor with a kid who might need such help. Maybe this person is more suited in helping with organization and upkeep of your program in stead of on the front lines with kids. It may also be that a team approach might improve the situation, and finding a partner for this Guide would improve things.

Let’s say the worst happens. The Guide just isn’t working out. A mistake was made in recruiting or you received some bad information about this individual, and you need to let him/her go. Pray hard about it.  Every situation is different, but ask yourself if you’re willing to be the “bad guy” for the sake of the kids. If you’re not, or the situation could become a bit dicey, surround yourself with teammates who can help buffer any fallout. In fact, a team approach to this type of thing is always safest. You are much more likely to face repercussions alone than as part of a team. The bottom line is this: Pruning is sometimes necessary. It may not be fun, but it may be necessary. Do what you know is best for the kids in your program.